LIFE AFTER: Creative Writing 101
I’ve been striving to be more consistent with my blogging, so I took time to look back at the old work I produced when I was in college to get inspired. Back then, I was writing nearly every day, honing my skills to the point that putting together an essay was second nature. But few classes pushed me more out of my comfort zone than Creative Writing 101.
This 3-hour class was meant to be an easy A, and you could tell from the number of people leaving at the halfway point that only ¼ of the students were actually serious about getting better at crafting stories. I entered this class as the type of guy who wanted to improve but acted too cool to give a damn. However, every once in a while we were assigned a topic that got me to care about what I was writing and document my honest thoughts. The following essay was written 5 Decembers ago and focuses on my fear of the future I was paving for myself.
It must’ve been the first semester of my third year in college (my memory is kind of hazy and calculating the exact date is giving me a headache), and I was starting to worry about my place in the world again because the sappy life I had imagined involving my former high school sweetheart was clearly no longer a viable option. Instead, I was left to piece together my next move on my own and build a world that I would happy to take a part in.
The early stages of rebuilding were not easy and filled with the angst I never grew fully accustomed to. I was at war with myself because I had the desire to take the famous Spiderverse “leap of faith” but was unable to take action on my feelings. This short essay is nowhere near my best work, but it is one of the most honest pieces I’ve produced; I thought I’d share it with y’all to show you what was going through my head before Spiff P. started.
3 December 2014
Losing My Childhood
A couple of months ago I realized that I was losing my childhood. I was losing the carefree attitude I had in everything I did. I was losing the happiness I felt when I believed I could be anything I wanted.
Instead, I felt the hands on the clock ticking, thinking that I had no time to just enjoy myself. I felt the pressure of the responsibilities that accompany growing up and realizing you aren’t the same person anymore.
Bills are thrown at your face.
Friends you thought you would always have time for never seem to be around anymore.
Days to just kick back and chill are replaced with waking up to the alarm you set to remind yourself to finish the essay you couldn’t do the night before.
The kid who thought he could be an astronaut and an author at the same time became a man who was stuck in the same path every other person in college is forced to follow.
For years I was told that being an adult didn’t mean growing up; if I had the right attitude I was supposedly able to keep the same imagination and joy I had as a kid. But how could I keep the mindset of a child when I am constantly forced to deal with decisions about a future I am unsure about? How could I possibly drop everything I’ve done in college to pursue a different career? I feel like I just have to deal with the decisions I made as a teenager now that I’ve been in college for so long.
A couple of months ago I lost my childhood.
And now, I don’t even have the time to be sad about it.